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The Neuroscience of Jealousy and its Link to Dating Violence

  • 4 hours ago
  • 5 min read

Written by: Nidhi Sujin

Edited by: Nadia Hall

(Image from: alamy.com)
(Image from: alamy.com)

Many people have felt some form of romantic jealousy before. Jealousy is a complex and intense emotion. But little research has been done about jealousy and its causes and effects. Looking at recent studies, we can explore how jealousy can be used as a shield in relationships, as well as how it can destroy relationships. Romantic jealousy has been the reason behind almost 20 percent of murders and has contributed to most partner-based violence and domestic violence within the U.S. and globally (World Health Organization, 2021; Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2023).


What happens in the brain

Jealousy is more than just a feeling. Caligiuri (2021) explains that jealousy is linked to threats to self-esteem and social bonds. Jealousy sparks areas of the brain that trigger high cortisol levels to respond to the threat. This causes the brain to react to jealousy as it would to a physical attack. The feeling of jealousy activates the amygdala that functions as the brain's alarm system, which then floods the body with stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. The body is put into a fight-or-flight state, and the individual’s heart rate increases (Šimić et al, 2021).


Another part of the brain that is activated by jealousy is the basal ganglia (Sun et al., 2016). The nucleus accumbens, the main input nucleus of the basal ganglia, is associated with reward and motivation. Healthy relationships are neurologically rewarding. In healthy relationships, the brain associates the partner with safety and pleasure, which is a reliable source of dopamine. When that emotional dependence feels threatened, it is a disruption to the neurological reward loop. The brain then fights to protect a reward that it does not want to lose (Scherer, 2023). Jealousy and basal ganglia activations are significantly higher in long-term relationships than in the early stages of relationships. Research shows that the intensity of jealous reactions increases with increasing emotional dependence (Maninger et al., 2017).


The prefrontal cortex helps with attention, emotions, self control and decision making. But when the amygdala fires intensely, it can bypass the prefrontal cortex, and make people react irrationally and impulsively (NeuroPedia, n.d.).


Jealousy can also trigger parts of the brain that are responsible for physical pain and social pain, namely, the anterior cingulate cortex. This explains how the hurt of a broken heart or jealous pangs is real pain neurologically (Beilock, 2015).


In a nutshell, when jealousy hits, the amygdala registers the threat and triggers the release of stress hormones in the body. The prefrontal cortex tries to moderate the response, but it may be unsuccessful. The reward system notes a disruption to a much-valued connection, and the anterior cingulate cortex processes it as a real pain.

 

In romantic relationships, jealousy does not always mean that abuse is coming, but it can be a warning sign of something dangerous. It may begin as insecurity or fear of losing a partner, but it can become unhealthy. In extreme cases, jealousy leads to controlling behaviors such as monitoring, isolation, and manipulation. When someone feels intense jealousy, the discomfort is genuinely painful. To ease the discomfort, the brain looks for reassurance and a sense of security. This could be by checking a partner's location, demanding explanations, looking through messages, etc. Such behaviors relieve the anxiety for a short time. But the relief is temporary. The anxiety could return and may be even stronger, leading to controlling behaviors again. Soon, the brain learns that controlling the environment reduces pain, even if it negatively affects the other person's autonomy. These actions can increase the tension in a relationship and escalate into physical, emotional, or verbal abuse in the next phase.While jealousy in relationships is normal, it can become unhealthy when a person starts acting possessive or controlling. This unhealthy pattern, which is a form of relationship abuse, is known as coercive control (The Handy Guide, n.d.). 


One interesting finding in psychology is the positive correlation between happiness and jealousy. Individuals who experience greater happiness with their partner are likely to experience greater jealousy when they perceive a romantic rival (McLaren, 2024). Romantic jealousy tends to unfold with time. Once in a formal relationship, individuals are less likely to think about what they want and instead fear losing what they already have. This suggests that the more we value our relationship, the more we fear losing it. Even though we often fear jealousy as a bad sign in a relationship, the feeling may actually arise as the byproduct of a good relationship that we are desperate to protect. Different cultures experience romantic jealousy in different ways and respond to it differently. Small amounts of jealousy may even help protect a relationship. However, high levels of jealousy are linked to lower relationship quality and satisfaction (The Open Psychology Journal, 2023).


Conclusion

In its most basic form, jealousy is a social emotion with three different aspects including affective (feelings of pain or sadness), cognitive (thoughts and suspicion on rivals), and behavioral (the actions taken to protect the bond). It is important to understand that jealousy is a biological response to the fear of loss and that it can be an important stabilizer in relationships. It is a sign to value what you already have. But if you let it control you, it can become the thing that destroys the relationship you value so much. 


References


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